ALBERT
Oh hello Rupert.

RUPERT
Hello there Albert.

ALBERT
How is everything then?

RUPERT
Oh well – if I must say it is all terribly terribly terribly good.

ALBERT
Oh well then that sounds not so bad!

RUPERT
Yes. If I must say.

ALBERT
Well then, what happened?

RUPERT
Well, do you know the 9th Symphony? The one by Beethoven?

ALBERT
Well, yes. I would say that I should know that one at least.

RUPERT
Well, yes, but the thing of it is… the point of the matter is that I was at the Symphony last evening listening to it… and whilst at the symphony I noticed in the program that there was a dropped comma in the third paragraph describing the second violinist who has a particularly important moment in phrasing the third movement.

ALBERT
Did you then?

RUPERT
Well yes, absolutely. And so I pointed it out… and wouldn’t you know it, I was assured that it shall be corrected forthwith.

ALBERT
Oh well good show.

RUPERT
Oh well…

ALBERT
No… absolutely… well done… excellent…

RUPERT
Oh well…

ALBERT
So then how was the concert?

RUPERT
The what?

ALBERT
The 9th Symphony. How was it?

RUPERT
Oh. Well… quite good I should think. It is one of the finest of his symphonies I should think.

ALBERT
At least in his top nine.

RUPERT
Yes. Quite right. At least.

ALBERT
Yes.

RUPERT
So how are things with you then?

ALBERT
Oh. Well. Less then entirely excellent I should say.

RUPERT
Oh. Well then. What seems to be the matter?

ALBERT
Oh well it’s just a little thing. Doesn’t merit repeating.

RUPERT
Oh I see. Really yes. But were you to repeat it, what might it be?

ALBERT
Oh I see… well it’s just that I was at the physician’s yesterday – you remember Doctor Worthingtonstratfordshire do you not?

RUPERT
I think so – he has that little terrier he likes to prattle on about?

ALBERT
Precisely so. A miniature schnauzer I think. Strange dog for a grown man if you ask me.

RUPERT
I quite agree. One would have thought he’d have a proper dog, were he to have a dog at all.

ALBERT
Quite so. Quite. Exactly. Precisely so. Yes.

RUPERT
But you were saying. You visited him?

ALBERT
Oh yes. Well the long and short of it is that I have no more than a day or two to be alive.

RUPERT
Oh. I see.

ALBERT
Yes.

RUPERT
A day or two?

ALBERT
Yes.

RUPERT
No longer than that?

ALBERT
Apparently not.

RUPERT
Not, for example, 72 hours?

ALBERT
Not that I was told. Though that would be quite splendid – having 72 hours. I mean… not under normal circumstances…

RUPERT
Certainly not.

ALBERT
Absolutely not. But in the setting where you’re told you have only 24 hours… 24 to 48 hours… then 72 hours to live doesn’t seem quite so bad, does it?

RUPERT
No… no… it really doesn’t.

ALBERT
Perspective, I believe you call that.

RUPERT
Relativism. It’s all relative isn’t it?

ALBERT
Yes…. exactly. Precisely.

RUPERT
Yes well quite good seeing you.

ALBERT
And you. Please remember me to your lovely wife.

RUPERT
Oh I will. Thank you.

ALBERT
Off we go then.

RUPERT
Yes

(The End)